7 Common Mistakes to Avoid During a California Divorce

January 16, 2026

Divorce in California can be complicated, with key decisions affecting your finances, children, and future. Many people repeat the same avoidable mistakes, often because they lack clear information about state laws and procedures.


This article identifies the seven most frequent divorce mistakes in California. We explain how each mistake happens, its impact, and practical steps to avoid them.


Because California law covers issues like community property, child custody, and support, understanding these rules is critical, especially if you're looking for a low-cost divorce option. Avoiding common errors can save you time, money, and unnecessary stress.​


Most Common Divorce Mistakes


Divorce can involve complex legal, financial, and emotional decisions. In California, the legal landscape brings its own set of rules, such as community property laws and the state's focus on the best interests of the child, that can significantly shape the outcome of your case. Unfortunately, many people go into divorce unprepared and make decisions that negatively affect them for years to come.

Below, we’ve outlined the most common mistakes people make during a divorce in California.


Legal and Custody-Related Mistakes


Some of the costliest divorce errors happen when people misunderstand the legal process or make assumptions about their rights. Issues around property division and child custody are often more complex than they appear, especially under California law.


1. Not Hiring the Right Divorce Attorney


Choosing the right attorney can be the difference between a smooth legal process and one filled with delays, confusion, and poor outcomes. One of the biggest divorce mistakes is thinking that all lawyers are the same or that you don’t need one at all.


California’s divorce laws are unique, and having an attorney who focuses specifically on family law in this state ensures you receive accurate advice tailored to your situation. A general practice lawyer may miss critical family law issues, while self-representation often leads to costly oversights. 


2. Failing to Understand California’s Community Property Rules


California is a community property state, meaning the law treats most assets and debts acquired during the marriage as joint property, regardless of whose name is on the account or title. A common mistake is assuming that because one spouse earned the income or bought the asset, they automatically get to keep it.


Without understanding how state law divides property, you might give up more than necessary or fight for something the court is unlikely to award solely to you. Working with a legal professional who understands how community property is applied ensures a fair and lawful division.


3. Ignoring or Mishandling Child Custody and Support


Many parents go into divorce assuming that custody arrangements will be simple or that informal agreements are enough. However, failing to establish a clear, court-approved custody and support plan can lead to conflict, confusion, and even legal challenges later.

In California, custody decisions are guided by what serves the child's best interests, with the court evaluating factors such as the child’s safety, consistency in their environment, and each parent’s level of involvement. 


If you're not prepared or don't understand how the court makes these decisions, you could end up with less time with your children or financial obligations you didn’t expect. Having a structured, enforceable agreement in place protects both your rights and your child’s well-being.


Financial Mistakes During Divorce


Decisions made during this time can affect your financial stability. Unfortunately, many people make avoidable financial mistakes because they’re focused only on short-term outcomes or on protecting assets without understanding the legal risks. Here are two key mistakes to watch for.


4. Overlooking Long-Term Financial Planning


One of the most common financial mistakes during divorce is focusing only on the immediate settlement, like who keeps the house or car, without considering the long-term impact. What may seem like a fair or appealing trade-off now could become a burden later, especially if it involves significant expenses or tax consequences.


For example, keeping the family home might feel like a win, but it could come with high costs for upkeep, taxes, and refinancing. Likewise, failing to properly value retirement accounts or understand how spousal support will affect future income can leave one spouse financially unprepared.


5. Hiding Assets or Lying About Finances


In an effort to protect their interests, some spouses attempt to hide money, underreport income, or move assets around before or during divorce proceedings. This strategy may seem like a way to avoid loss, but it often backfires and can lead to serious legal consequences.


California law requires full and honest disclosure of all assets, debts, income, and expenses. If a court discovers that a spouse has concealed financial information, they can face penalties, including fines or a larger portion of the assets awarded to the other party. Transparency is not only required by law, but it’s also key to reaching a fair and enforceable settlement. Attempting to game the system almost always ends up being more costly in the long run.​


Emotional Mistakes Men (and Women) Make


Divorce is often one of the most emotionally charged experiences a person will face. While strong feelings are normal, allowing them to guide your decisions can lead to outcomes you later regret. These emotional mistakes aren’t limited to one; both men and women fall into similar patterns when fear, anger, or assumptions take over. Below are two common examples to be aware of.


6. Letting Emotions Drive Your Decisions


Divorce can stir up resentment, guilt, sadness, and frustration, all of which can cloud judgment. One of the most common emotional mistakes is making choices based on how you feel in the moment, rather than what’s best for your future. Emotional decision-making can show up as refusing to negotiate out of anger, agreeing to an unfair settlement out of guilt, or dragging out the process just to make things harder for the other person.


While emotions are valid, they shouldn’t dictate legal or financial decisions. Instead, treat divorce like a business decision. Rely on your attorney for objective guidance, and make sure every move you make supports your long-term goals, not short-term emotional satisfaction.


7. Believing Gender Bias Will Decide Custody


Many men enter the divorce process believing the system unfairly favors the other parent in custody matters. On the other hand, some women may assume the court will award them primary custody simply because they’ve traditionally taken on more parenting duties. Both assumptions can lead to poor preparation or unrealistic expectations.


The court considers factors such as parental involvement, the child’s needs, and each parent’s ability to provide a stable environment. Believing that gender alone determines custody outcomes can cause one party to give up too soon or approach the case with unnecessary conflict. A better approach is to build a strong, evidence-based case that demonstrates your commitment to your child’s well-being.


How to Avoid These Mistakes Under California Divorce Laws


Avoiding common divorce mistakes starts with preparation, awareness, and having the proper legal guidance. While every divorce is different, California’s laws create a framework that, when understood, can help you make smarter decisions and reduce long-term risk. Whether you're just starting the process or already involved in a case, here are a few key ways to stay on the right track:


Work with an experienced California family law attorney.

Choosing a family law attorney who understands the local courts, judges, and legal procedures can guide you through each step, protect your rights, and help you avoid costly missteps.


Stay informed about your rights and responsibilities.

Understanding how community property, child support, and custody laws work in California is essential. Don’t rely on assumptions or outdated advice.


Keep financial records organized and transparent.

Gather and disclose all relevant documents early in the process: bank statements, tax returns, debts, and assets.


Make decisions based on logic, not emotion.

Take a step back when emotions are high. Avoid making agreements out of spite or guilt, and lean on professional advice to evaluate options objectively.


Be proactive about your long-term financial future.

Consider working with a financial advisor in addition to your attorney to understand the full impact of property division, support payments, and taxes.


Stay current on legal developments.

Laws change, and what applied in past cases may no longer apply. Recent changes in California divorce rules may affect how the court values property, determines spousal support, or handles parenting plans.


By taking a strategic, informed approach, you can better prepare yourself to avoid the common pitfalls many people face during divorce and increase your chances of securing a stable foundation for your next chapter.


Frequently Asked Questions About California Divorce


What is the 10 10 10 rule for divorce?

The "10/10/10 rule" typically refers to military divorce benefits. If a couple has been married for at least 10 years while one spouse has served at least 10 years of creditable military service, the non-military spouse may be eligible to receive direct retirement payments from the Defense Finance and Accounting Service (DFAS). This rule does not apply to civilian divorces in general, but is vital for military families divorcing in California.


What are the three C’s of divorce?

The "three C’s of divorce" often refer to Communication, Compromise, and Cooperation. These principles help couples navigate the process with less conflict. While not legal terms, these concepts are essential in mediation and co-parenting, especially when children are involved.


What is the #1 reason marriages fail?

While there isn’t a single cause for every divorce, one of the most commonly cited reasons is poor communication. Other leading factors include infidelity, financial stress, and incompatibility. In California, most people list 'irreconcilable differences' as the legal reason for divorce.


Who loses more financially in a divorce?

Financial impact varies case by case, but studies show that women often experience a greater drop in household income after divorce, especially if they’ve taken time off work to care for children. However, men may also face significant financial obligations, such as spousal or child support. The key factor is how the parties divide the assets and whether they plan appropriately for life after divorce.


Speak With Our Experienced Divorce Lawyers in California Today


At Harris & McKeown Law Firm, we help clients throughout Southern California make informed, confident decisions about divorce, custody, support, and more. Whether you're concerned about protecting your assets, securing parenting time, or avoiding common legal mistakes, our team is here to guide you every step of the way.


Schedule a confidential consultation.

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If you’re a parent, one of your biggest concerns is what will happen to your child if you can’t care for them. Illness, injury, or unexpected events can leave them without a clear caregiver. Many families assume a verbal agreement or a will is enough, but in California, you must follow a formal legal process to appoint a guardian. Without a clear plan, relatives may disagree over who should step in, or the court could place your child in temporary foster care while it makes a decision. That can lead to delays, confusion, and stress for both your child and your family. You can avoid these problems by learning how guardianship works and taking a few practical steps now. With the right legal guidance, you can appoint someone reliable to take responsibility for your children and give your family clarity for the future. What Is Legal Guardianship in California? Legal guardianship in California is a court order allowing an adult (not the child's parent) to care for a minor, including making decisions about education, healthcare, living arrangements, and daily needs. Guardianship becomes necessary when parents cannot care for their child due to illness, incarceration, substance abuse, death, or other serious situations. Unlike informal caregiving, legal guardianship must go through the court system and meet specific requirements under California law . It may last for a limited time or continue long-term, depending on the situation. Once appointed, the guardian assumes many of the responsibilities that a parent would normally have. Guardianship does not terminate parental rights. In most cases, the child’s parents still retain some legal rights and may be allowed visitation or, in certain cases, may petition the court to regain custody if circumstances improve. Guardianship vs. Conservatorship: What’s the Difference? Guardianship and conservatorship are often confused, but they serve different purposes. Guardianship applies to minors , children under 18 who need someone to care for them when their parents are unable to do so. The guardian steps in to make decisions about the child's well-being and daily life. Courts use conservatorship for adults who cannot manage their personal or financial responsibilities due to physical or mental limitations. In short: Guardianship = for children. Conservatorship = for incapacitated adults. Understanding the Types of Guardianship in California Not all guardianship arrangements are the same. In California, the court can grant different types of guardianship based on the circumstances and urgency. Temporary Guardianship Temporary guardianship allows a person to take immediate responsibility for a child for a limited period, usually while the court reviews a longer-term guardianship petition. Families often choose temporary guardianship when a child needs care right away, for example, if a parent is hospitalized or becomes suddenly unavailable. In these cases, there may not be enough time to complete the whole legal process for permanent guardianship. The person seeking guardianship files a petition explaining the need and urgency. If the court grants the petition, the temporary guardian will be legally authorized to make decisions about the child’s care until the court holds a hearing on permanent guardianship. Emergency Guardianship Some people use 'emergency guardianship' interchangeably with 'temporary guardianship', but in California, the courts apply it more narrowly to cases involving an urgent threat to a child’s safety or well-being, such as abuse, neglect, or abandonment. In these situations, a person can petition the court for immediate authority to care for the child, often without giving prior notice to the parents if doing so would put the child at risk. The court calls this an ex parte request. If approved, the court grants emergency guardianship quickly, sometimes within 24 to 48 hours. Emergency guardianship is short-term and remains in effect until a regular guardianship hearing can take place. Permanent Guardianship Permanent guardianship is a long-term arrangement for situations where a child’s parents are unable to provide care for an extended period or permanently. Relatives, close family friends, or others with a strong relationship to the child may request it as part of a family’s estate or care plan. Once granted, permanent guardianship remains in place until the child turns 18, unless the court modifies or terminates the order. While parents still retain some legal rights, the guardian has full authority over the child’s daily care, education, and medical decisions. 5 Practical Considerations When Choosing a Guardian Selecting a guardian for your child involves legal, emotional, and practical factors that can impact your child’s well-being and your family's peace of mind. Here are five key points to think about when making this important decision. 1. Is Your Chosen Guardian Legally and Practically Suitable? In California, a guardian must be at least 18 years old, mentally competent, and able to provide a stable home environment. But beyond meeting the basic legal requirements, consider whether the person is truly in a position to take on the responsibility, both emotionally and financially. Ask yourself: Does this person have the time and energy to care for a child full-time? Do they live in a location that would allow the child to maintain stability (school, friends, routine)? Are their values, parenting style, and lifestyle compatible with how you would want your child raised? It’s also important to think about any potential legal complications. For example, someone with a criminal record or ongoing financial problems may face challenges getting court approval. 2. Have You Considered the Child’s Needs and Preferences? Choosing a guardian isn’t just about who you trust; it’s also about what’s best for your child. Think about their emotional, educational, and medical needs, as well as their existing relationships with potential guardians. California courts may consider the preferences of older children, particularly those aged 12 or older. If your child is old enough to express a reasonable preference, involve them in the conversation, or at least keep their feelings in mind when making your decision. Also, consider factors such as: Does your child already have a strong bond with the proposed guardian? Will they need to relocate or change schools? Will their cultural, religious, or language background be maintained? 3. Do You Have the Right Legal Documents in Place? To make your decision legally enforceable in California, you must complete the proper paperwork and, in most cases, go through the court process. At a minimum, your guardianship plan should include: A nomination of a guardian in your will Any related forms required by the court (such as Form GC-210 for guardianship petitions) Supporting documents showing why the guardian is suitable Working with a family law attorney ensures that your documents are complete, accurate, and in compliance with California law. It also helps prevent delays or disputes during the court process. 4. Have You Communicated Your Plans With Key People? Once you’ve chosen a guardian, don’t keep it to yourself. It’s essential to communicate your decision with the proposed guardian to confirm they’re willing and able to take on the role. An unexpected guardianship can place strain on everyone involved, even if the court approves it. You should also consider talking to close family members, especially those who might expect to be involved in your child’s care. A transparent and open conversation now can prevent confusion, disagreements, or even legal disputes later. In some cases, families choose to write a short letter explaining their decision, which they can include with legal documents or share during the court process. 5. Are You Prepared to Review and Update As Life Changes? Guardianship planning isn’t something you do once and forget. Life circumstances can change: yours, your child’s, and the proposed guardian’s. The person who seems like the best fit today may not be the right choice in five or ten years. Make a point of reviewing your guardianship documents every few years or after major life events, such as divorce, death, relocation, or changes in relationships. You can update your nomination or modify your legal documents as needed. Keeping your guardianship plan current helps ensure the guardian you choose can continue protecting your child in accordance with your wishes. When to Contact a Guardianship Lawyer Planning for guardianship requires both selecting the right person and following the legal process. In California, the court must approve guardianship, and even straightforward cases involve paperwork, deadlines, and legal requirements that are easy to miss. You should contact a guardianship lawyer if: You want to formally nominate a guardian in your will or through the court. You’re unsure what type of guardianship fits your situation (temporary, permanent, emergency) There are complex family dynamics, such as disagreements among relatives or an absent parent. You need help completing or filing court forms correctly. You want to make sure your plan aligns with California law and will hold up in court. An attorney with experience will support you through each phase, explain your options, and help you avoid delays or errors. Most importantly, a guardianship lawyer ensures that you clearly document your wishes and that someone you trust protects your child. Frequently Asked Questions About Guardianship What are the grounds for guardianship in California? Families typically seek guardianship when a child’s parents are unable to provide care due to serious issues like illness, death, incarceration, substance abuse, or abandonment. In these cases, a relative, a close family friend, or another responsible adult can petition the court to appoint them as the child’s legal guardian. Are there any downsides to guardianship? Yes, there are a few considerations. First, guardianship requires court involvement, which can be time-consuming and emotionally difficult for families. It may also lead to disputes among relatives, especially if more than one person wants custody of the child. In some cases, parents may object or try to regain custody, which can create further legal challenges. Additionally, the guardian must take on full responsibility for the child’s well-being, including financial and medical decisions. What exactly does “guardianship” mean in legal terms? Legally, guardianship is a court order that grants a non-parent the authority to care for a minor and to make decisions on the minor's behalf. In California, this includes providing a home, enrolling the child in school, managing medical care, and handling day-to-day responsibilities. Guardianship is different from adoption; it doesn’t terminate the parents’ rights, but it does give the guardian legal authority to act in the child’s best interest. Secure Your Child’s Future Today Choosing a guardian is a critical decision for any parent. It ensures that a trusted individual will protect, support, and raise your child. We help California families navigate guardianship with clarity and care. Whether you are planning or facing an urgent situation, we guide you through the legal process and help you create a plan for peace of mind. Contact us today to take the next step toward securing your child’s future.